Danger Pants
by wildchild21
Summary: SpongeBob and Patrick are transported to Swellview after a freak accident, where they meet Captain Man and Kid Danger.
1. Chapter 1

(Location: Man Cave)

Schwoz: Guys, look what I've invented.

(Schwoz shows everyone a funny looking phone)

Charlotte: A phone?

Ray: Dude, that's literally already been invented.

Schwoz: This is no ordinary phone, this is a multiversal phone. You see, the multiversal phone lets make calls to any dimension in the multiverse. Look, I'll show you right now.

(Scwhoz dials numbers on the multiversal phone, sending a signal to New York City from the "Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" dimension.)

(Mikey is playing video games when he hears the phone ringing)

Mikey: Yo, would somebody get that?

(Phone still rings)

Mikey: Will anybody answer the phone please?!

(Phone still rings)

Mikey: UGH! Fine.

(Mikey answers his phone)

Mikey: Hello?

Schwoz: Hello, is your refrigertor running?

Mikey: Uh, probably. Why?

Schwoz: Well then go catch it, lazy boy.

(Schwoz hangs up)

Henry: I don't see how that kind of phone should be special to us.

Schwoz: Come on, with this phone, you could call an alien or a talking dog or different versions of yourselves.

Charlotte: Yeah, I'm gonna go with Henry on this one.

Jasper: Hey, can I try that?

(Schwoz gives Jasper the multiversal phone, and randomly rings SpongeBob SquarePants)

SpongeBob: Hello, SquarePants residence.

Jasper: Uh, yeah, wanna hear a joke? Is your refrigerator running?

SpongeBob: Well, it is turned on so it is likely to be so.

Jasper: Good, then go catch it.

(Jasper laughs out loud, but then accidentally spills a cup of soda onto the multiversal phone. Sparks of electricity appear. SpongeBob is sucked into the phone)

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, can I borrow your toothbrush to wipe off the barnacles off my hou- Are you OK?

SpongeBob: Patrick, Help! Get me outta my phone!

(Patrick tries to pull SpongeBob out of the phone, but the two get sucked inside the phone.)

Schwoz: AAH! Jasper, what did you do?!

Ray: Quick, throw it away, man!

(Jasper throws the phone down to the ground. A flash of electricity transports SpongeBob and Patrick to the "Henry Danger" dimension. They crash onto the wall of the Man Cave. Everyone looks on, shocked)

Charlotte: Oh my god.


	2. Chapter 2

(Location: Man Cave)

SpongeBob: What happened? Where are we?

(Everyone is still shocked)

Henry: Dude, there are cartoons right here, in the real world.

Ray: Yeah. My god.

Schwoz: Holey smokes, do you realize what we've just witnessed? These are two, living, breathing 2-Dimensional animated beings that must've been sent by the multiversal phone due to Jasper's act of regardless stupidity. I mean look at this, (touches SpongeBob) a talking, yellow square with arms and feet, and a chubby, pink marshmallow. (Rubs Patrick's stomach) How extraordinary is this, people?

Patrick: I'm made of marshmallow? (Patrick chews his arm)

Charlotte: So, when Jasper spilled his drink onto the phone, it caused these two to transport here in our world?

Schwoz: Precisely.

SpongeBob: Hey, how about we introduce ourselves. I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. And this is my best friend, Patrick Star.

(Patrick still chews his arm, thinking he's made of marshmallow)

Patrick: Yuck, I taste too stale. I gotta find something else to eat.

Ray: Gee, Schwoz. You must think this is a new scientific breakthrough, watching actual cartoons right in front of us. If you ask me that's pretty-

(Patrick snatches Ray's bubble gum)

Ray: Hey, what do you think you're doing?!

Patrick: I'm hungry, I want some gum.

Ray: Well you can't have this gum. This is my special gum.

(Ray and Patrick keep pulling the gum from one another until it spills all over the Man Cave and Patrick eats one, but Ray takes the gum out of Patrick's mouth.)

Ray: Gimme that, marshmallow guy. Why don't you take the elevator and find something else to chew on other than your arm?

Patrick: Fine

(Patrick takes the elevator up to Junk n Stuff)

Jasper: So, you're a fry cook?

SpongeBob: Yep. I just love flipping delicious Krabby Patties everyday at the Krusty Krab.

Jasper: Krabby Patties, you say. You don't happen to make one of those right now, would ya?

SpongeBob: I wish I could, but I don't think there's any grill in this place.

Schwoz: Oh, actually, yes. We do have a grill.

Henry: Uh, what?

Schwoz: We have a grill, right here in the Man Cave. I'll show you.

(Schwoz presses a button to release a grill rising from the floor)

Charlotte: Wait a sec, you mean to tell me, there was a grill under the Man Cave this entire time, and you never bothered to tell us?

Schwoz: I did now.

(Location: Junk n Stuff)

(Patrick searches the store for some food. An old lady enters. She hears rattling)

Old Lady: Excuse me? Is somebody there?

Patrick: Hello, old timer.

(The old lady pauses, then screams like heck and runs away fast)

Patrick: Hmph. The nerve of that geezer. I wonder if there's any food somewhere else?

(Patrick leaves Junk n Stuff)

(Back at the Man Cave, SpongeBob just cooks up some Krabby Patties for the whole gang)

Henry: Oh, my god. These patties, they taste good.

Ray: They taste really, really good.

Jasper: Hey, what's in them?

SpongeBob: Well, there is a secret formula for the Krabby Patty, but I can't ever tell you. I wish Patrick was here to eat a patty. How long has been up at that store for?

Charlotte: I'll check the cameras.

(Charlotte turns on the live cameras. There is no one there)

Charlotte: Uh, guys. I don't think that Patrick guy is at Junk n Stuff. And also, the door's open.

Henry: Hold on, did he just leave the store?

Ray: In the streets. In front of many people? With cameras?

SpongeBob: Oh, no. Not cameras! One question, why are cameras a threat to Patrick?

Ray: I dunno, maybe someone could post a picture of him, and they would let people from the government track him down. And they would do crazy dangerous experiments, even dissect him.

SpongeBob: (gasps) DISSECT?! We gotta go get him.

Ray: Right, come on, Henry. Let's catch us a cartoon marshmallow.

(Ray and Henry chew bubble gum and transform into Captain Man and Kid Danger)

SpongeBob: Oh, so that's why you call it special gum.


	3. Chapter 3

(Location: The Hart House)

Piper: (on the phone) Oh my god, did you not see real housewives of Swellview? Courtney flipped out in the middle of her boss' dinner. And Diane threw her husband off the roof.

(Piper hears noises from the kitchen)

Piper: I'm gonna call you back.

(Piper picks up a broom)

Piper: Hello? Who's there? Are you a telemarketer?

(Patrick reveals himself)

Patrick: What's a "telemeerkat"?

(Piper screams, then Patrick. Piper hits Patrick in the head with a broom)

Piper: Go away, beast!

Patrick: I was just hungry.

Piper: Well go eat the dirt off the ground!

(Piper continues to assault Patrick, then her dad Jake comes running down)

Jake: What in the world is going on?! What is all that racket?

(Patrick reveals himself to Jake, then Jake screams and picks up a book and hits Patrick in the face. He and Piper still assault Patrick until they get tired.)

Patrick: I'll.. just.. go.. then.

(Patrick crawls out of the house)

Piper: Yeah, you better run!

Jake: What the heck was that thing?!


	4. Chapter 4

(Location: Man Truck)

Spongebob: PAAAAATRICK! PAAAAATRICK! PAAAAA-

(Ray/Captain Man pulls him down)

Ray: Shut up, square guy. Do you want us to get caught?!

Henry: So, we have a pink cartoon guy on the loose.

Ray: I wonder if government officials have caught him.

Spongebob: Gee, I hope not. I don't want my buddy to be dissected. Maybe I'll try calling him again.

(Spongebob pulls out a microphone, then jumps out of the Man Truck)

Spongebob: PAAATRICK! PAAAAAAAAAATRICK! PAAAAAAAA-

(Henry/Kid Danger pulls him down)

Henry: OK, 1, how on earth did you fit a microphone in your pants? And 2, Don't let anyone see you.

(Meanwhile, at a police station)

Officer: So let me get this whole thing straight. You mean to tell me, a pink 2-Dimensional talking marshmellow, broke into your house, and ate all your food.

Piper: Yeah, and me and my dad were screaming like crazy.

Jake: Well, I wasn't really that afraid.

Officer: Listen, I ain't no doctor, or a psychologist, but I think you two have gone all cuckoo in your heads. Why don't you come back and report a crime that actually matters, OK? We're cops, not nurses at a nut house. We would see a pink 2-Dimensional talking marshmellow when we believe it.

(Patrick pops up unexpectedly)

Patrick: May I use the bathroom?

(The police officer screams)

Officer: IT'S THE PINK 2-DIMENSIONAL TALKING MARHSMELLOW! I NEED BACKUP, ASAP!

(Patrick runs away)

(Meanwhile, in the Man Truck)

Henry: My god, it's taking forever to find Patrick. I bet we'll never ever find him.

(Patrick lands on the windscreen. Captain Man, Kid Danger and Spongebob all scream, Cap stops the Truck, causing Patrick to fall off)

Spongebob: Patrick! We found you!

(A beam of light pops up on the four)

Henry: Or they have found us.

Officer: Freeze! We have you surrounded, aliens.

Patrick: Aliens?

Spongebob: Where?

(A ton of cops apprehend Spongebob and Patrick)

Spongebob: (laugh) That tickles.

Officer: Alright, take these two away.

Captain Man: Hold on, they're not aliens. They're just cartoons from another dimension.

Officer: Yeah, or it could be result of alien technology.

Kid Danger: But you can't just arrest them for thinking they're aliens.

Officer: Hey! Who's wearing the badge? Let's go, boys!

(Spongebob and Patrick are taken into a police wagon, Cap and Kid are left stunned)


	5. Chapter 5

(Location: Man Cave)

(The guys are watching the news.)

Trent: ...and that's why you never let a baby take the wheel. In other news, police have captured what appears to be two strange phenomena. One is a talking yellow square, the other, a pink star-shaped marhsmallow.

Mary: I love that guy's music, Trent.

Trent: No, Mary, you're thinking of "Marshmello", the DJ. Anyway, the phenomena have been taken to a top secret government facility miles away from Swellview. A place so mysterious, the government wouldn't even tell us.

Mary: Is it Area 51?

Trent: (pauses) Yes.

(TV is turned off)

Ray: Alright, this is awful.

Jasper: Yeah, I can't believe Mary Gaperman listens to Marshmello.

Ray: No, I meant Spongebob and Patrick being taken to Area 51.

Schwoz: Exactly, and it's miles away in Nevada.

Ray: Who knows what type of sick torture they could do to them. I mean what have they ever done to us?

Charlotte: Spongebob did make us Krabby Patties.

(Everyone else agrees)

Henry: Look, we just need to find a way to get to Area 51 and rescue those guys.

Ray: Yeah, but I don't know how we can get there without being caught.

Schwoz: I found the solution. There is a truck delivering goods to Area 51

Ray: So?

Schwoz: So, you and Henry can sneak into that truck and make it through.

Ray: Right. C'mon, Kid. Let's go save some toons.

(Henry and Ray activate the tubes)

Henry and Ray: Up the tube.

(Ray and Henry go up the tubes)

(Meanwhile, in Area 51)

General: Manson, are you getting those subjects to explain their plans?

Manson: We're still trying, sir.

General: Dang it, I don't have time for trying. Any minute now, those two could launch an invansion into our planet. Now get them to talk.

Manson: Yes, sir. Attention, aliens. Will you please explain your plans?

Spongebob: Plans, well we're going jellyfishing in 2 weeks, I gotta take Gary to the vet, take my boating exam again.

Patrick: And I need to come up with a plan for tomorrow.

(The General gets disgruntled)

General: Take drastic measures, gentlemen. Initate... electro-shock.

(A electric zapper is brought in)

General: Now we'll get them to talk. Fire!

(The zapper is blasting Spongebob and Patrick, but they are laughing)

Patrick: (laugh) That tickles.

Manson: It's no use, sir. The subjects are actually... enjoying this.

General: GAAAAAH! Try harder! And don't stop till they tell us what we need to know!

Manson: Yes, sir. Maximize the levels!

(The zapper is maximized to full power, but the two are still giggling)


	6. Chapter 6

(Location: Outside Area 51)

(A goods delivery truck is entering Area 51. As soon as it pulls over, Kid Danger and Captain Man secretly sneak outside from under the truck)

Kid Danger: OK, now how are we supposed to get past through those guards?

Captain Man: Easy.

(CM and KD secretly grab two guards and takes them to a janitor's closet and knocks them out. They both put on the guards' uniforms)

CM: It's hard to breath in this.

KD: You think that's bad, this uniform has the smell of rotten fish.

(A few guards approach CM and KD)

Guard: Hey

CM: (imitating voice) Uhhhh... Hi.

KD: (imitating voice) Yeah, hi

CM: (imitating voice) Just some guards hanging out in the hall, whch we really are.

Guard: General wants us all to report to the testing room.

KD: What for?

Guard: They're about to dissect the aliens.

CM and KD: What?!

CM: (imitating voice) I mean, uhhh... Okay. We'll be there

KD: (imitating voice) Yeah, just watch "aliens" being dissected and/or not killed.

CM: (imitating voice) Off we go

(CM and KD run off)

(Meanwhile at the testing room, Spongebob and Patrick are tied. There are several surgeons in front of them.)

General: If this doesnt get them to talk, I don't know what will.

Manson: Nothing?

General: (pauses) Well, yeah. Can't argue with that. BUT DANG IT, I NEED SOME ANSWERS FROM THOSE TWO!

Spongebob: Excuse me, doc. What kind of operation will you be performing on us?

Surgeon: It's not an operation, we're going to take out your brains.

Patrick: I don't think I have a brain.

Spongebob: Oh, Pat, sure you d- WAIT?! You're gonna take out our brains?!

Surgeon: Uh, yeah.

(Patrick & Spongebob scream)

General: Knock the out.

(Surgeons use anesthesic on SB and PTK to knock them out)

(The guards, including Captain Man and Kid Danger, enter the test room)

General: Ah, you're all here. You're just about to witness the dissection of these aliens.

KD: (imitating voice) You know, I don't think that's such a great idea.

General: Why is that? Explain.

KD: (imitating voice) Uhhhhhhh...

CM: (imitating voice) Because if you dissect them, they will break free and probably eat you all alive.

KD: (imitating voice) Exactly what I was thinking.

General: That's preposterous. Begin dissection.

(Surgeons activate the needles to prepare for dissection)

CM: (sigh) Well, we tried.

(Captain Man shoots at the glass.)

CM: Alright you leave the cartoons alone.

KD: Yeah, or nobody gets out alive.

General: Guards, what are your major malfunctions?

CM: We're not guards.

(Kid Danger and Captain Man reveal themselves)

CM: You let these innocent creatures go, or get zapped.

General: Send backup and destroy them.

(More guards enter the room)

CM: Well, we tried again.

(KD and CM break Spongebob and Patrick free with the laser guns. They carry them. The guards pursue them. They four hide in a dark room)

KD: Hey, Bob. Pat. Wake up.

(KD slaps them both several times until they wake up)

Spongebob: What happened?

CM: Long story. Kid, help me turn on the lights.

(The lights are turned on, revealing aliens trapped in cells)

KD: Woah!

CM: Oh, my god. These aliens are prisoners

(Patrick looks at one of them, and laughs)

Patrick: This one has several butts.

KD and CM: Oh.

CM: That's awesome

(The four overhear guards saying, "they went in here")

KD: Dang, should've kept our mouths shut.

Spongebob: Ah! What will we do?

KD: Look, there some swtiches. Maybe on of them unlocks that door over there.

CM: Come on, then.

(The general and the guards storm in)

General: There you are. FIRE!

(The guards shoot at CM, KD, SB and PK)

Spongebob: Gotta pull this lever.

(Spongebob accidentally opens the cells and releases all the aliens in the base in the process)

General: Dear god, all the aliens have escaped. Retreat!

(The guards and general run away)

Spongebob: Oops. OK, that was definitely not the lever for the door.

CM: But this one is.

(The door opens)

CM: Come on, everyone. Let's go.

KD: But what about all the aliens who have broken free from their cells?

CM: That's a problem we'll have to take care of for another day.

(They all run off and leave Area 51, leaving the aliens rampaging all over the base)


	7. Chapter 7

(Location: Man Cave)

(The news is on)

Trent Overunder: Authorities say the aliens who have been locked up in Area 51 have somehow escaped from their cells, rampaging throughout the base and attacking the guards. Yet the cause of this so-called horrific incident is yet left unknown.

(Ray turns off the TV)

Ray: Let it be unknown.

Schwoz: Right, then, I'm all ready to send you back to your dimension.

Spongebob: You're more than welcome, little elf guy.

Schwoz: I'm no elf.

Henry: Well I guess this is goodbye.

Patrick: You call this place "goodbye"

Ray: Yeah, goodbye to you.

(Schwoz prepares to send Spongebob & Patrick to their world by using an interdimensional ray)

Jasper: Wait! Before you go, can I ask you something? Can I touch you?

Spongebob: Well, I don't see why not.

(Jasper rubs Spongebob and Patrick)

Jasper: So life-like. So cool.

Ray: OK, Time for you bozos to hit the hay. Schwoz.

(Schwoz fires the ray at Spongebob and Patrick. They both giggle. Spongebob says "that tickles". They have now been transported back to Bikini Bottom)

Charotte: Those guys were fun to hang out.

Henry: Yeah. I wish I had a Krabby Patty again.

Schwoz: Well, no use of the multidimensional phone anymore.

Ray: Ah, c'mon. How about one more prank?

Schwoz: Alright!

(Schwoz dials the phone)

Schwoz: Hello, may i look for a... "Usmellabutt"

(Everyone laughs out loud. Jasper laughs so hard that he spills his soda again, landing it on the multidimensional phone in the process again.)

Schwoz: Dah! Not again!

(Sparks of electricity appear again. Schwoz drops the phone. A mysterious being pops out from the phone in a flash and lands behind the control panel. The mysterious being slowly reveals to be... Leni Loud from The Loud House)

Leni: Wha- What happened? Where am I?

(Henry, Ray, Jasper, Charlotte and Schwoz all stay silent and walk away backwards slowly towards the elevator)

The End


	8. Chapter 7 (Alternate Ending)

Schwoz: Well, no use of the multidimensional phone anymore.

Ray: Ah, c'mon. How about one more prank?

Schwoz: Alright!

(Schwoz dials the phone)

Schwoz: Hello, may i look for a... "Usmellabutt"

(Everyone laughs out loud. Jasper laughs so hard that he spills his soda again, landing it on the multidimensional phone in the process again.)

Schwoz: Dah! Not again!

(Sparks of electricity appear again. Schwoz drops the phone. A mysterious being pops out from the phone in a flash and lands behind the control panel. The mysterious being slowly reveals to be... Splinter from Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Splinter: What the?! How did I end up here? What sorcery is this?!

(Henry, Ray, Jasper, Charlotte and Schwoz all stay silent and walk away backwards slowly towards the elevator)

The End


End file.
